Riding on the Magical Mystery Bus

A Snapshot Sensory Experience:

As I sit in my house writing I...

Hear: a car running in the distance, birds chirping, roosters crowing, neighbors talking
See: Trees moving in the breeze, my neighbors' houses, my wire fence with its broken gate
Smell: my cat, general neutral house smell, hot earth
Feel: The breeze alleviating some of the oppressive heat of the day (and the sweat rolling down my back)
Taste: lukewarm chlorinated water
Wonder: where Canela is...she's being far too quiet (her new theme song is "Boom, Crash, the sound of my heart the beat goes on and on and on, yeah") and whether I have enough time to do a load of laundry before I lose the sun.

After almost a year in Panama, there are lots of things that should be strange, concerning, or gross, that have just become normal.  Like,

• Never feeling CLEAN, no matter how recently I've showered.  

I feel clean-ish after I shower, but it's nothing like the squeaky post shower clean that I had living in the US.  I also usually start sweating again pretty immediately after I shower.

• Sweating all the time, but especially when cooking.  

There's something about cutting vegetables that just makes you sweat like crazy.  I've taken to wearing a bandana while cooking when it's really hot out, especially if I'm cooking for people other than myself.

• Casual machetes on the bus or walking around in my community.

People bring their machetes on the bus sometimes or I'll see someone trimming a tree with one or cutting their grass, or just walking around with it on their way somewhere.  I live in a pretty "suburban" place for Panama and if I saw someone walking around with a 2-3 foot sword in the US I might be more than a little concerned and would potentially call the police.   

• Children playing with (dull-ish) machetes, running with scissiors, or doing other semi-dangerous things

Some kids play with machetes.  It's normal for kids to imitate their parents and adults around them in any culture, so they'll play-cut the grass, or chop at trees.  The running with (or without) scissors happens at school a lot and my earliest memories of school include lessons on scissor safety (and we even had safety scissors!) and not to run in the halls.  Students are left to their own devices during recess without lunch aides monitoring them (because lunch aides don't exist here).  Substitute teachers don't exist either.  If a teacher doesn't come students will just sit in their classroom without adult supervision for the duration of the school day or sometimes they'll have the day off from class.  Children have alot of freedom and It's just different here.

• Let's do the Time Warp.

In High School Spanish I learned that ahora means "now", ahorita means "right now" (but isn't used everywhere), and ya means "already" (like it already happened).  In Panama ahora means "sometime today, probably", ahorita means "sometime in the next 3-4 hours, probably", and ya means "right now, or within the next half hour".  Even after 11 months in Panama I still mess this up.  

Anyone who knows me, knows that I like to be early to things.  They know that messages saying "I might be 5-10 minutes late" actually mean "I'm probably going to arrive right on time".  Adjusting my time expectations has been one of the harder challenges for me due to my personality and coming from Stage Management/city life where I timed everything to the minute.

• BYO soap and toilet paper (or paying for bathrooms)

You have to pay for public bathrooms in bus terminals (but they'll usually have soap and toilet paper to give you).  Public bathrooms that aren't in restaurants or department stores will probably not have soap or toilet paper.  This includes public school bathrooms.  It's safer to always carry some hand sanitizer and tissues with you.

• Stoplight entertainment

Not unique to Panama, but really interesting.  People will perform for drivers at stop lights and then ask for money.  Usually juggling acts, but I've also seen firebreathing/poi, and bubble art.

• Bus concessions as if you were at a baseball game

People will board buses (usually long distance ones) for short distances to sell chips, gum, candy, jewelry, and soda.  They'll also try to sell you things while you're sitting in the bus at the terminal (newspapers, pirated CDs or movies, in addition to the things listed above).

• Buses (and their timey-wimey schedules)

I've heard alot of people complain about public transportation and not having a car in Panama.  I came to Panama from living a public transportation-based existence (though I also had a ZipCar account for when I needed it).  Buses in Panama generally have the start and end points of their routes painted on the windshield, but sometimes they get artsy with the letters and they can be hard to read.

You hail buses and taxis here by standing next to the street holding your arm out perpendicular to the ground and waiving at the driver in an up-down motion with your hand.  

You may then start negotiations.  A wagging finger from the driver of any transportation means "no", scrunchy face and a waving hand from a taxi driver means "where are you going?" at which point you should point in the general direction of your destination and he'll tell you whether he wants to take you there (a nod of the head or a wag of a finger).  There's a hand sign for "standing room only", but I can't remember what it is right now.

When the bus does stop the pavo (a young man in his late teens or twenties who collects bus fare and tells the driver where to stop) will hop out of the door.  You'll tell him where you're going (or ask if they go to a given place) before getting on the bus.  You could also just shout parada ("bus stop") if you're confident in where you're going, but if the bus is packed it can be hard to see and the blasting tipico music can make it really hard to hear.

Buses are typically decorated with LED lights around the door and potentially feather boas around the rear view mirror on the inside.  Frequently they will have music blasting or music videos playing.  They may or may not be air conditioned (that's what the windows are for).

You pay the pavo your bus fare upon airriving at your destination and you should always try to pay your fare in singles or coins.

Buses run on a schedule, but they'll leave ahead of time if they fill up (I watched my bus drive away almost 20 minutes early the other day and had to wait over an hour for the next one, dashing my plans of arriving before dark and chilling in my hammock for a bit).  Traveling involves lots of patience (for when the A/C is out and the bus is packed and there's traffic) and always having a back up plan (for when the bus leaves you, which has happened to me more than once). 

It's normal for people to have live animals on the bus.  Usually chickens, but I've also seen bunny rabbits.  Whenever I take Canela to the vet people always think I have a chicken in a box and they usually find it strange when I tell them it's my cat.

Kinds of Buses:

• Coaster or busito: small-medium sized passenger bus.  May have jump seats that will block the aisles.
• Coach bus: for cross country or longer trips.  Will probably have air conditioning, but won't have a bathroom.
• Chiva: a pickup truck (or other type of truck) with a covered flatbed and benches in the flatbed
• Diablo Rojos: decommissioned US school buses that have found their way to Panama.  They're operated by private citizens and will have their start and end points painted on the windshield, but the routes can vary, so always check with the pavo.  They'll also have camino or expreso on a sign.  Avoid the camino buses if you can, it'll take you forever to get anywhere.  The expreso buses will make less stops.  Bus decorations (interior and exterior) may include: paintings of cartoons, pop culture, and religious figures, LED lights, feather boas, and pom poms.  The bus will probably have music playing so loud that it makes your chest vibrate.

A diablo rojo at the Albrook Terminal in Panama City

Taxis:

Generally yellow with black and white checkered racing stripes.  The official ones will have numbers on the side too.  Sharing taxis with strangers is normal, but you can ask for a ride to be particular if you're not into sharing, though they might up the price.

In my town alot of people have cars, but other popular modes of transportation include: bicycle, horse, on foot, or leading your horse while riding your bicycle.

I really love long bus rides (as long as I don't have to do too many too close together).  They're perfect for thinking.  Bus terminals (or transportation hubs in general) are also some of the best places for people watching.

I'll write about my vacation adventures in the US soon.  Lots of pictures of food coming your way.

Blogging Abroad's Boot Camp Blog Challenge: Starting January 2015