So, it's July. I'm really not sure how that happened because I swear I've only been in site for like two weeks, which means it should be the end of May and I should have many many more than 9 days to complete my SECNA (School Entry and Community Needs Assessment) paper, but alas earwax.
Two Month Milestones (with jump links to sections because I'm verbose!)
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End of June: The longest amount of time I've ever been out of the US (to date)
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I sent 5 letters to people in the US
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I have gotten less terrible at pasearing in the past week
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I started the last of my observations this week
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I actually conducted SECNA interviews
Click your Heels Three Times...
I spent most of training waiting for my decision to serve with Peace Corps to "get real", to have
the moment where it all solidifies and becomes reality that this is my life for the next two years. For some people it was when they got on the plane that would take us to Panama from staging in Miami, for others when we were going through Customs in Panama, or when we moved to our training communities at the end of that first week in-country, or one of a hundred other small "firsts".
For me, it wasn't any of those. During the past three years I became so used to transient theater life, to living in blocks of 8-10 weeks, to counting time in shows, to being completely comfortable with my entire worklife (which really was just my life) changing every 3 months, that I didn't have
the moment until my third day in site.
On that day I realized that I would live in one place and have one main employment (the school) with a steady income for the next two years, a kind of stability that hasn't existed in my life since before I left for college. I also realized that I really had no idea what I was doing or where I was supposed to start with the enormous amount of work that I had in front of me. So, I decided to take a mental health break and go to Santiago to start working through the "To Do" list that I'd made to make myself feel like I had some grade of control over what was happening in my life.
I went to the pharmacy to get more medicine for my ailing tooth, got directions to the bank from there, saw an ice cream place from the bank, satisfied my craving for something cold, and ended up walking around the Panamanian version of a Home Depot (a "Do It Center") for a bit before going back to site (which I've since started calling "home" interchangeably). I just desperately needed some anonymity (as much as could be afforded by Santiago), independence, and some normal monotony (the aisles of tools were also amazingly soothing; I really miss building things).
During training I kept thinking that I would have my
moment when I hit the milestone of being out of the US for more than 4 months, but I haven't been homesick (or more likely I just haven't recognized some of my new coping behaviors).
Maaaiiillll (a-la Blues Clues)
When I was 18 I was crazy sick and bedridden for a week. I watched a significant amount of Blues Clues, Dora the Explorer, and America's Next Top Model during that time.
Getting mail makes me disproportionately happy and writing letters is super fun. Be my pen pal!
Lessons from the post office:
1. Mailing letters is crazy cheap (no word on timeline or reliability yet)
2. You have to glue the envelopes closed (they won't let you mail anything with scotch tape)
This second lesson threatened to bring out the overzealous kindergartener in me (I was the kid whose notebooks were always accidentally glued shut), but I managed to restrain myself.
Welcome to the Neighborhood
During training the staff spent alot of time talking about "
pasearing" which is a beautiful Spanglish word for the practice of walking around the community and inviting yourself onto your neighbor's' porch when you see them hanging out in front of their house (or even when their front door is open-indicating that someone is home).
It starts with a hearty "
Buenas!" as you're opening their front gate and it's totally socially acceptable to get as almost far as that open front door before you pause to wait for a response. Once you've awkwardly inserted yourself into their physical space you introduce yourself and try to find things to talk about and they may or may not give you food/drink.
I was not too keen on this idea.
Rather, the idea of knowing my neighbors and other people in the community sounds really great, but the practice of having to go to other people's homes to talk to strangers about what I'm doing here (when I'm still figuring that out myself) was just daunting. And I conveniently used the heat and some creeper-no-creeping incidents as excuses to largely avoid walking around my site for about a month and a half.
We were told it would get easier with time, and it has. As more of the teachers and kids (and by extension their parents) have gotten to know me it's become much easier to approach people and I've had some really nice conversations with some of my
gente (literal translation: "people", Peace Corps Translation: "community members"), especially as I've learned what days the bars are closed and the best routes to take to avoid them when they're open.
This week has been particularly successful. On Tuesday I was supposed to help some first grade students learn a poem for English Week, but it rained, so none of them showed up. Instead, I went for a walk to a part of the community that I wanted to check out on earlier walks around the neighborhood, but hadn't worked up the guts to walk that far by myself. On my way back a woman left a house that I'd just passed. After about 10 minutes of walking in the same direction she started a conversation with me (opening with: "
Que Hace?", "What are you doing?"; I was loudly saying "
Buenas!" and waving every time I saw someone in front of their house, but not stopping or giving any indication that I actually knew people). I explained that I was the new Peace Corps Volunteer and that I was going to be working in the school for the next two years.
I was then treated to the familiar refrain of two previous PCVs who both married people from my community (
everyone I meet tells me about the previous volunteers, inquires about my marital status, and expresses interest in helping me find a boyfriend, in that order). I also met a few other community members and two of her friends as we walked down the street (It's so much easier to
pasear when you're not alone!). She invited me to her house at a future date, as did both of her friends.
The next three afternoons were spent teaching those first graders the poem and then playing games with them in the park next to the church. I learned that "
el escondito" is Spanish for "hide and seek" and I even got some of them to count in English while we were playing. Also, playing with kids in public space also makes you much more approachable, as does walking them home when you're done
playing learning.
*Open staring* followed by *Nervous giggling and averted eyes*
I started observing with the teacher (Coralia) who teaches grades 7-9 this week. I already have a relationship with Coralia because we've had a bunch of conversations and I've eaten a few meals at her house, but I hadn't "worked" with her yet, so I was starting from square five (or so). When I'm observing I try to sit in the back of the room as unobtrusively as possible so that I can get a sense of how my CP teaches without distracting the students.
At the beginning of an observation period, the kids are usually distracted by the new person in the room (eventhough I've been at the school for two months). By Friday the open staring and nervous giggling had given way to barrages of questions and a general acceptance of me lurking in the back of the classroom.
Today we did tongue twisters with the 8th and 9th graders. Coralia was teaching the 8th graders "A proper copper coffee pot" and she asked me to read it so the students could hear the pronunciation. I told her that there's another half to it and she said we could teach the 9th graders the rest of it. When I wrote out the full one for her she told me that she thought it would've been longer, so I wrote out "Betty Botter" for her too, but that one was too long. We'll get there, the students got "Proper Coffee" pretty quickly and I love tongue twisters (#TheaterKid, #RudeMechanicals).
Moving forward I'm really excited to work with the older kids at my school and to hopefully have the opportunity to explore the nearby secondary school next week.
Aprovechar (and Quitar la Pena)
Two weeks ago my CPs told me that they'd all be out of school the following week for a training in Santiago. This threw a serious wrench (the most recent of many) into my observation plans. With the looming reality of my SECNA paper being due on July 20th I decided to
aprovechar ("to take advantage of an opportunity") and get some community interviews done while I didn't have a specific daily commitment at school for the week.
I was pretty successful in my venture to
Quitar la pena ("get rid of shyness") and go find people to talk to in the community and at school. I interviewed the principal and assistant principal, met the mayor, explored the community library, and have a potential appointment to interview the priest and learn more about the faith communities in my site.
I have some more interviews to do this weekend and next week (and a fantabulous SECNA draft writing date with another PCV this weekend), but I'm feeling pretty good about where I am in the process. Checking things off my To Do lists is the best feeling (it's so good that I sometimes write things down just so I can check them off, #stagemanager).
SECNA is the paper and presentation about our community and potential projects that we might do in our sites during our two years of service. It's based on our observations at school and interviews with school staff and community members. At the "Three Month" mark the APCD (Associate Peace Corps Director; Program Manager in non-jargon), and PTS (Programming and Training Specialist, Assistant Program Manager in non-jargon) go on a country-wide tour to visit the new volunteers and hear about their sites and potential projects.
Final Thoughts
Congrats on making it this far! I know this was a long one.
1. It's rained two days in a row which has been a wonderful break from the heatwave we've been having. I love the sound of rain (added bonus of it washing away the horse poop in the street!).
2. Go read "Como Agua para Chocolate" ("Like Water for Chocolate") by Laura Esquivel. It's a
fantastic book and so much better than the heavily fast-forward-edited movie that you watched in high school Spanish class.
3. Shoutout to my RL (Regional Leader, a 3rd year PCV) for making a rough week infinitely easier.
4. Apples and peanut butter is basically ambrosia
